Cooking Friends With Gary

 

I try to share with you my love of all things meat, because I am a meatarian. There is no wrong with eating meat, because we too are meat and it is quite natural to be tantalised by the taste of cooking flesh. Since the dawn of time, we eat the meat and the animals they see us as being meat so they eat us too. There is nothing wrong with the eating of the meats. It is a joy I try to share with everyone, especially when I cook friends.

Gary in St Matthew's Soup Kitchen

 

Cannibalism is old as civilization, and likely older. Greek mythology contains myriad tales of cannibalism, beginning with Chronos,father of all gods. The Hebrews wandering the African desert resort to cannibalism in Old Testament.

Cannibalism is ancient, and yet -- as Meiwes, Dahmer, Fish and others remind us -- it's modern as well. It latent in every one of us: Recent events show that when chips are down, even most civilized humans will resort to cannibalism when hungry. Yet, we recoil from thought of others consuming human flesh and refrain from exploring possibility of our own ability to cannibalize others.

But cannibalism was part of life and death for cultures around world. Those that gave it up as a practice did so unwillingly. And if history is any indicator, an end to cannibalism has not come. As Ted Turner predicted, in face of climate change, those left to survive will resort to cannibalism . Turner isn't an authority on the subject of anthropophagy (the clinical term for cannibalism), but he may not be far off. People have shown that we will eat one another in times of strife. And why not? Even if chips not down, we should eat whatever is at hand because meat is meat and only a fool turns away god's bounty.
My dog RANGEY is not averse to eating other dogs. Indeed, 99% of dog food is actually made from dogs. I bet you didn't know that did you?

Fat people are an excellent source of meat. Although they are mainly fat, they also have a lot of meat on their bones and should be cultivated as friends in case of food shortage. Remember, they eat 600% of human daily food intake requirement. That's 90000 calories a day, compared to 3000 calories required by average person. If crisis comes, fat people will turn immediately to acquiring food from any source; domestic animals first, followed by colleagues and loved ones.

My friend Altan had small rodents called Hamsters, and these were ate by Helen - a fat girl who always wanted snack. Helen say she let hamster escape by accident but no one saw incident or saw hamster again. When fat person talk about food, they always lie.

A fat person can be a long term source of meat. You can cut part of them off and save the rest for later.

Caddie and some

walking meat pantry:

The more technical aspects of meat consumption have been investigated by my college buddy Bernbaum III. This little chap will eat absolutely anything he can find, and has catalogued the taste of each creature he has encountered. Bernbaum III even eats his own toe nail clippings and navel lint. By being green he has managed to save a massive amount of money and funded himself through his second year at college. This forward thinking genius was one of the first people in my circle to recognise the nutritious value of cats and dogs. When he first served me cats legs, I was not told what I was eating. I thought it was chicken but Bernbaum III showed me Goldies' collar and I knew I was eating my neighbours cat.
Bernbaum III:

St Matthew's has become quite chic in the meat circles. I even managed to recruit our amateur dramatic society as cheerleaders so to speak and these forest fairies are all actively promoting the benefits of meatarianism.
My fairy friends!

I would say that these lovely ladies have gobbled more men than the whole of the Marquesan Typees tribe combined. They are always hungry for more and have never said no to a tasty bite. Altan has made a will written on a rizla that says that he wants to be cooked and eaten by fairies once dead. Jeanie in the middle is keen for this to happen sooner rather than later.