Shirley is our ressident sage with hr twigs of w=isdom:
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): My alsation fits in the cat box. He don't like it but i can get him in when he's naughty!
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): my glassess keep ou tthe wind, not because i'm blind.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): i think of myself as being a poet and send my verses to the church. they publissed one last year called My dog ate my cat. It was a true story and trhey called it COMIC verse.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): everyone calls my dog zilla. When i got him I'd lost my teeth he's really calld Cilla but everyone calls him Zilla
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): my glassess keep ou tthe wind, not because i'm blind.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): i think of myself as being a poet and send my verses to the church. they publissed one last year called My dog ate my cat. It was a true story and trhey called it COMIC verse.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): everyone calls my dog zilla. When i got him I'd lost my teeth he's really calld Cilla but everyone calls him Zilla
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): I've got 4 daughters, 2 cats and zilla. we all live in a 2 bedroom back-to-back that Barbara painted yellow after she weent to art school. My husband never stopped smiling but he died when he reached 40.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): I always take my marketeer with me. it has two wheels and a handle anfd can fit lots of things inside. It even fits zilla when we go bingo.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): Last time i put zilla in the cat box my nreighbour peter threatened me with the RSPC.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): I keep thinking i hear burglars and joan next door calls me a silly cow for not locking my door. i've told her that the lock is broke and that it hurts my wrist to turn the key. Thats got her fooled!
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): Someone keeps stealing my undergarments from the wasjing line, and i reckon its peter. He is a weird one. He thinks i'm mad because i wear my coat in the house. Ha! imagine if he knoew that i wear it for bed too!!!
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): My daughters won't come in the house anymore they just hoot that horn until i come outside. They say that i smell.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): My daughters won't come in the house anymore they just hoot that horn until i come outside. They say that i smell.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): They keep giving me new clothes so i take them to the charity sdhop. and pick up some bargains to wear instaed. Ha. They called me a fashion nomad. Whta the hell does that mean??? At least i have hair.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): treacle on the bin keeps hte burglars away'SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): I might be small but i'm not stupid.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): when people ask me what i do i tell them that i like to play with myself. they never ask again. i love bingo and i love cards but i don't like other people so i always play with myself. SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): If people talk to me in the street i drag my left leg behind me and pretend that i'm a leper. it works a treat, then i keep them talking nad talking and taljking and talking. zilla usually pees too.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): peter kiicked my old dog Marcus clean over the street one day when marcus bit him again. he said that marcus wass a basatrd. marcus was a harmless little terrier, he just liked to nibble.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): when a big dog approaches, get in a car immediatly. anybodys car, or go into their house and shut the door. this woman from the estate gave me a right mouthful last time i went in her house, called me a crazy old bag lady. i told her that there was a dog outside and she said it was hers.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): if you find a glove in the street you should keep it. One glove is better than none and you might find anbother and then you got two. i've been wearing one now for 5 years but cant find the second.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): that nosey cow next door was watchinmg me hang out my jacket on the line so i told her that id just washed the collar cos that was the only dirty bit. she thought i was an idiot but it'll be dry in 10 mins so whose laughing now????
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): what the hell are bingo wings???
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): peter kiicked my old dog Marcus clean over the street one day when marcus bit him again. he said that marcus wass a basatrd. marcus was a harmless little terrier, he just liked to nibble.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): when a big dog approaches, get in a car immediatly. anybodys car, or go into their house and shut the door. this woman from the estate gave me a right mouthful last time i went in her house, called me a crazy old bag lady. i told her that there was a dog outside and she said it was hers.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): if you find a glove in the street you should keep it. One glove is better than none and you might find anbother and then you got two. i've been wearing one now for 5 years but cant find the second.
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): that nosey cow next door was watchinmg me hang out my jacket on the line so i told her that id just washed the collar cos that was the only dirty bit. she thought i was an idiot but it'll be dry in 10 mins so whose laughing now????
SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): what the hell are bingo wings???
