My opinion

Your question and answer page

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Stuart wanteed to tell us about his experiences with the Rose lee style of T'aiji.... SUCKLING NEWT (Stuart):  It was sublime. CONFUCIOUS SAY: What makes you say thatm Stewart?. SUCKLING NEWT (Stuart):  It was the cool thing to say. CONFUCIOUS SAY: So what happened in the class> Did you leran some new routines and things?. SUCKLING NEWT (Stuart):  The master blokey was way cool. Kind of Steve Buscemi meats T-Bag off prison Break? Awasome. He's an expert in many differenmt martial arts but especially so in Taijikwan. CONFUCIOUS SAY: You mean he waz violent?/?.   SUCKLING NEWT (Stuart):  Not really. He just new his stuff. I totally believed him at first.. CONFUCIOUS SAY: Well, their you have it folks. CRIMSON ROD (Jay Lee):  I have a lot of friends, because I like to communicate with people around me. My friends call me sunshine, because I like to create merry atmosphere around me. I am cheerful, like sunshine during a gloomy day. I have many things which I like to do. I am young and I know that I have a lot of opportunities, so I try to use most of them. I like to read different books, because I like to broaden my horizons. I adore dancing, because it is very good way to spend the time and of course it helps me to keep my body in a proper shape. I like to listen to the music, because sometimes when I have a bad mood music helps me to bring it in a good way. I would love to be a river and dance to you; a rainbow to engulf you; alightening bolt to rush to you with thunder. I want to become a dew drop to quench your inner thirst, a mountain to shield you from any harm. I wish to be a sky to cover you with myself. But I am only me and I can just love you, love you and love you more.                  CONFUCIOUS SAY: That is very kind of yu Jay. You are such a warm, warm ray of sunshine in are lives.    ARGIEBARGIE (Astrid): He farts in bed.                  CONFUCIOUS SAY: Oh, don't spoiil it dearie..  T-BAG (Master Simon): He could come and fart in my bed!                  CONFUCIOUS SAY: Skip, you hussie! GREEN FROG (Joan): Who taught my dog t'ai Chi?         CONFUCIOUS SAY: Joan has bowled us over again. She is the Zen wizard of Monkwearmouth! My god, I can't get that question out of my head. Who did teach your dog T'ai chi?  RED DAWN (Saffron): Rasta can do T'ai chi too and he's a mongrel. he likes to wag his tail when I bongo at night in the park and he barks in rhythm withg the animal dance.           CONFUCIOUS SAY: Rasta is a genius, i love him more than words can say. He's like my own dog although he's yours. In china they eat dogs, did you know that? If a towist wizard saw Rasta... SPRING CHICKEN (Shirley): My alsation fits in the cat box. He don't like it but i can get him in when he's naughty! CONFUCIOUS SAY: That isn't funny, shirley. And dont pretend you're joking now. Would you like it in the cat box? Eh?         CROUCHING TIGER (Brian): Shirley needs her head examined. CONFUCIOUS SAY: That's not very nice, bri! have you got a question?         CROUCHING TIGER (Brian): Sorry, swimming sparrow. I've been trying cat licks clean and my tongue just won't go out that far. you and Saffron could touch your nose but my tongue jus hurts when i try. Bethany thinks I'm a pig. CONFUCIOUS SAY: Keep trying, Bri! A frog can do it! If a amphibian can stick his tongue out i'm sure you can too. You need to get in touch with your inner spirit.  DIVINE PHOENIX (Scottie): I keep trying that spider kickiing danceyou sowed me but my arms and legs just seem too long for it... Saffron made it look easy??? CONFUCIOUS SAY: Don't worry Scottie, you just need to loosen up a bit. Saffron has those lovely herbal smokes that just do the trick. RED DAWN (Saffron): Not all mushrooms make good herbal tea. Rasta really likes pretoricus diem but i think it makes him trippy cos he just barks at the toilet all night! CONFUCIOUS SAY: Don't waste your bloody tea on the dog! ANGEL DUST  (Veronica): Can you see my aura over the web? CONFUCIOUS SAY: are you trying to take the P*ss? ROUND GIRL (Tamzin): Yoga is another form of Taiji isn't it? CONFUCIOUS SAY: No, dear, it isn't! Yoga was invented by bony cows who needed a social outlet. See ballet also...         BLINKING FROG (James): I did yoga once and everyone had leoturds on and they looked pretty hot. It was real hard to consentrate. CONFUCIOUS SAY: It is nothing like animal dance!!!         BLINKING FROG (James): I came over all sweaty and they made me sit down and watch. Sometimes i go and watch if there's nothing on telly. They don't mind it much so long as i dont call out anymore CONFUCIOUS SAY: Yoga stick insects don't do animal call, James! Can we PLEASE change th e subject know? GREEN FROG (Joan): Is my goldfish a medium? CONFUCIOUS SAY: You are kidding me? right? Psychic dog and clairvoyant goldfish? Lucky cow.  GREEN FROG (Joan): Don't mock me, you hippy!         CONFUCIOUS SAY: I'm not. We all love you, Joan. You know that!!!  Brother Marc: In the dream I was a horse. a horse galloping across the fields with sweat glistening on my flanks. My hooves pounded the earth and i was a hose. I wake to find myself naked in a field near halifax.  CONFUCIOUS SAY: Thank you, Brother Marc for your inspiring vision quest! wow! i bet we'll all be running through those fields tonight, eh? Brother Marc: Another time, the rainbow spoke to me. It told me that i was a doberman. This reminded me of Chaucer.  CONFUCIOUS SAY: Brother Marc is one of our gurus at flowering unicorn. he is a master of naked t'ai Chi and is a regular at Findhorn.RED DAWN (Saffron): And he dresses like a sorceror!!!CONFUCIOUS SAY: we agreed not to go down that avenue, saffron! Brother Marc: i have felt you throbbing across the universe. Your naked tai chi sends ripples through concrete & jelly alike. Brother, we are one, we are united in the mighty Tow, and the nakedness it is flabby and joyous. Everything Saffron says is true. He wears a tight yellow muscle vest and goes for long runs on the beach. vegas baby Vegas.   CONFUCIOUS SAY: I'm shivvering all over after that one! Vegas??? was the beloved Elvis a towist wizard? GREEN FROG (Joan): He sounds like a dickhead to me.CONFUCIOUS SAY: Elvis or Brother Marc? have some respect, joan! RED DAWN (Saffron): I bet he speaks elvish! get it? elvis'h? ahhahahahaha!¬ CONFUCIOUS SAY: SAFFRON!!! this is not the lord of the ring fanclub! please keep it sensible. if you want to go all runey on us, please follow the dark lord sauron to another chatroom! RED DAWN (Saffron): Rasta likes all 3 films.  CONFUCIOUS SAY: bloody hell, Saffron - it isn't real - there was never a middle earth. he just made it all up.       GREEN FROG (Joan): Like the fairies?.         CONFUCIOUS SAY: now youre just being awkward again. we all know that fairies are real. Tolikien was just some junky who loves talking to trees. GREEN FROG (Joan): Like Saffron? CONFUCIOUS SAY: He's a dear, so leave hima lone.         WISE OWL (Barbara): Saffron told me a about this deep deep Towist wizard training method called 'shining the monkey balls' that he laerned of Nate. I just can't take that seriously.          CONFUCIOUS SAY: Hmmm Brother Marc:  Are you serious when you eat? When you release your payload? Or when you make sweet sweet love? No it doesn't matter whether Nate eats monkeys balls or plays with them what matters is whether he's serious or not we are all serious about something which makes seriousness itself suspect. Seriosness is a form of greed it's about wanting more, wanting to own, wanting, wanting, wantng, wanting, wantng... sorry. I got quite carried away. Our lord Jesus said give it all away. give it gladly. yiou can have anything i own. it's yours ia mean it!  CONFUCIOUS SAY: Amen,  WISE OWL (Barbara): so, whats the answer then? is that plonker Saffron pulling my proverbial?  CONFUCIOUS SAY: T'ai Chee is like chineese whispers. nate told me that not to think about it so much. he just does what his techer told him. When you know all the animal form, you just learn a new one. MEANINGFUL SHADOW (Angela): I know 24 step, 42 step, 48 step, 56 step, 108 step, sin style, wu style, Cheng Man Ch'ing, Li family, Yang Cheng-fu and Rose Li's own style (not sure what to call it really - beijing??), along with Nate's version of ynag style, whisch is lovely if I do say. Keep pestering that Master ma blokey for a lesson but he says he teaches a martial art. I thought he taught T'ai chi??? CONFUCIOUS SAY: Saffron has befriended several chavs. I'don't know whaT chavs are but Its a Kind thing To do iN my opinIon. Brother Marc:  Are you mad, woman?  CONFUCIOUS SAY: Oh?? dear.



Bra Talkj With GEoff

Hi, I'm Geoff and I'd like to talk about bras, in particular men who like or feel the need to wear a bra. I've called this page Bra Talk With Geoff.

A picture of me modelling a bra:

Nowadays many men have grown MOOBS and it is quite natural that we should want to wear a bra. The brassiere was designed to protect and support the breast, and when you have moobs, it is natural that you should want to offer them the comfort of  a well-fitted bra.

My moobs are quite large and whilst they bothered me at first they are now the favourite part of my body, particularly since the enlarged nipples have lead to increased sensitivity, which is pleasing to me. I don't think that I could breast feed with my moobs but I have considered buying a milking kit from time to time just to find out for myself.

Sometimes people call me a tranny but that is downright silly because women wear male clothing all the time. I've seen women in jeans, in trousers, in socks and in T-shirts and in chunky workboots, and these are all male clothing. So what's the big deal? Women are transvestites and they are dead serious about dressing like a man. My neighbour is so masculine that I forget who the man is. Her husband has larger breasts than me so I bet they have an interesting private life, eh?

Why do moobs grow?

Many scientists say that it is diet and that fish have started to change sex without reason and hermaphrodite animals are now quite commonplace in farms. I eat a lot of fish and have tasted the pleasures of the farmyard, so this could well be true. Lots of foods have additives and preservatives originally designed for use in space and when travelling to other dimensions, so I imagine that this sort of chemical was never meant to be mass consumed by men around the planet.

What can you do about moobs?

Celebrate! That's what I did, because I realised that there was nothing whatsoever I could do about them. With oestrogen levels like mine I could be looking at needing vaginoplasty within a year or two, so what's a pair of moobs. Plus, there are so many men who look like women and women who look like men these days that nobody really notices. I get catcalled by builders all the time and have even got my moobs out once or twice abroad when bathing topless. It was quite risque!!!

Flowering Unicorn BRAFEST, celebrating men's right to wear a  bra if they want to.